It has been nearly three weeks since I formally started working at the company. To be honest, it hasn’t been very intensive, and I think they are indeed giving me quite a lot of time to study things related to our work, either through watching online video tutorials or reading some documents.
I’m still trying to find the rhythm of working in the company and to discover the most comfortable and suitable way for myself. Deep in my heart, I hope to have a complete and meaningful day, even if it can be quite intensive. On the other hand, I desperately refuse to sacrifice my personal time. My life has to be separate from work; during weekends and after work hours, I strongly prefer to deal with my personal matters. This makes me puzzled and confused.
My life inevitably has to revolve around work, even though I don’t want it to. But that’s life—I trade my time for the resources that keep me alive. It’s sad, but I try to find meaning in this monotonous routine. Spending less time being introverted and reflecting on myself makes me less agile and sensitive in mind, which is quite obvious. I can easily tell because I feel tired when I finish work and return home. However, this might be a good thing. Life is sometimes hard and painful; let time pass and free your mind. Thinking or not thinking will not really change the world. I cannot even change my own life, and sadly, whether I’m alive or not, the earth will still turn.